lets be honest


this past weekend wasn't the fun relaxing weekend i was looking forward. in fact, it was quite the opposite. and the days to follow haven't been too great either. it's felt like a rollercoaster. there have been moments when i can pull myself together and begin to feel like my normal self, only to be followed by moments of immense emptiness and sadness. moments of frustration and anger, followed by feelings of happiness and contentment. moments when i have felt like taking time off to regroup, followed by moments of feeling like i need to accomplish everything i normally do, if not more. the whole process has been exhausting.

and i know logically that this is just a 'thing' that will pass. but man, the process of waiting can sometimes feel never ending.

and these are my honest thoughts and feelings about this week. hoping and knowing that things will get better and back to 'normal'. hoping that comes sooner rather than later.

over the worst of it


this week was all about survival. i had midterms every day plus tons of stuff going on outside of school. it felt like each day i was just checking through my to do list and never had a chance to take a break and relax. but i have finally checked off the last midterm i had to complete and 2/3 of my classes tomorrow got cancelled (yay!), so i am over the worst part of it. 

the next couple of days are going to be all about self care. pushing myself to get to the gym. cooking for myself. and relaxing. lots of pinterest and netflix, as well as hanging out with friends. just taking time for myself to refuel. 

the fact that it is finally feeling like fall with chilly rainy weather and bright leaves everywhere also makes it the perfect time to cozy up in pyjamas and lounge in bed. 

an update on my fall bucket list


the other day i finally tried the salted caramel mocha frap, which was the third and final drink i needed to order before i could check off number eight on my fall bucket list. every year/season i love to try all of the new starbucks drinks. it's the little things that count right?

finding the perfect balance


of enjoying my week off, but also getting work done. it's really hard.

also trying to avoid getting stuck, although right now i'm in the awkward in between of waking up and feeling super sick, but by about one o'clock it seems to fade. only to return again the next morning. at least it's not getting worse though (although after typing that out i know i totally jinxed it at will probably come down with something serious in the next couple of days.

also you guys, i need friends! local friends who like to do fun things, because without school this week which normally takes up most of my time i have realized that i have no good hobbies or people to hang out with and pinterest can only keep a person entertained for so long.

these are my wednesday thoughts.

a thanksgiving recap


thought i would write down a few things i did this weekend for posterity's sake. 

started off the weekend with what i like to call 'oktoberfeast'. a combination of oktoberfest and friendsgiving. hosted at the most beautiful apartment i've ever been at. and the festing was so much fun! glad i was able to go this year (its been forever!) 

saturday was our family thanksgiving. it was a feast. with lots of new side dishes. i was reminded how much i love family get togethers and also how much i love thanksgiving dinner. my favourite part this year was the oatmeal stuffing we had and a new green bean recipe i made... it's weird because it's not the best tasting thing, but i weirdly crave it? i know that doesn't really make sense. 

on sunday i had morning hockey practice and basically lounged the rest of the day. spent the evening studying/hanging out with friends and went on our traditional thanksgiving campus pizza run. 

monday was kind of bittersweet. my family and i had our hockey draft after lunch (and i'm pretty happy with my roster). after that it was hot chocolate and pumpkin trifle (also a thanksgiving tradition) al fresco in the park with my friends. we chatted, and laughed a lot (one of the many reasons i love hanging out with them), and then said our goodbyes for a couple of weeks. as sad as i am that they've gone back to their respective schools, i am happy that they will be back in town in a couple of weeks!! 

and that about sums it up. i have to say as a side note, the weather couldn't have been any better this weekend! it was clear and crisp, my favourite. i now have the rest of the week off for reading week, and it feels like all i'm going to be doing is studying, but i really want to do something fun as well.

favourite 'fall' song right now


lately i've had this song on repeat and it reminds me so much of fall for some reason. it's my go to song when the weather is cold and rainy. does anyone else have 'seasonal' favourite songs?

a long long day


today was one of those days you know is going to be rough even before you get up. wednesdays are one of my busiest days on campus and when you throw in 7am pilates and group meetings to attend in between classes it was hectic to say the least. the day seemed to drag on, but at the same time i wish there were more hours to get things done. make sense?

anyways it's now 7pm and i am laying in bed totally exhausted. i keep reminding myself that i made it through the hardest part of the week. just a couple more days and one midterm to go and i can enjoy my reading week!

photo source here

i got baptized!


last weekend i got baptized! i can't believe i totally forgot to blog about it. i was so nervous before the service started, but i'm so glad it went way better than i thought it would {although some tears were shed toward the end of my testimony.... note to self: do not look up and into the faces of the congregation as you are thanking them for their support.... cue the tears ;)}. 

after the service i stayed and chatted with people at our church and then had lunch at home with extended family. i was so thankful that so many people were able attend, even those who had to travel, it meant so much to me! excited for this new 'phase' in life! 

this past weekend i officially became a member of our church which was also really exciting. :) it's been a crazy couple of weeks, but the best kind of crazy. 

my first plowing match


some pictures from the plowing match i went to last month. had no idea what to expect going into it, but safe to say i'm glad my aunt and i checked it out. love trying new things with her!

a goal for october


so i checked in with my blog... i know it's been a while, and i was shocked to see i only had three posts in september... THREE. i feel like september flew by! so this month i want to be more consistent with my blog posts and post on a regular schedule. which i'm thinking is going to be a blog post every day monday - thursday. let's see if i can stick with it! wish me luck.

ps. i feel like my biggest struggle with blog posts are taking pictures to go along with them. any tips?